I remember it like it was yesterday. Okay it was yesterday fourteen years ago. My family had just relocated from my mother’s old bedroom at grandma’s house in Sacramento over the past two months to two basement rooms at my grandma’s in Utah (homeless and living with family – joy). It was my first Fourth of July in Utah and not knowing the tradition of sitting on your ass for the world’s most boring (I mean one of America’s Largest parades-They camp out like it’s the Rose Parade or Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade- morons) I stood to watch the festivities in an area devoid of any other people.
Low and behold some cranky old fart parks his deck chair and ass behind me and my parents. Unknowingly my family begins to enjoy the parade awaiting the all wonderful American flags (which you are duty bound to stand for), the infamous George Q. Cannon cannon (yes, it’s a real modern cannon that officially starts the parade), floats from various cities, businesses, and Mormon congregations along with a few tired balloons that have seen better days. Suddenly, this man gets up in my business about how I am standing in front of him and blocking his view. I tried to explain to him that I had been there first and he had sat down behind me. But there is no reasoning with these type of people (I’m not quite sure if he was from Utah, but from what I have seen in the past several years I think he was.).
Of course my father, a retired US Air Force veteran (spent twenty years in the military), did little to support me while the man was standing very close to the side of me (a little too close for my personal comfort and why was he picking on me specifically – why not my dad???) and “whispering” into my ear “Why was I being so god-damned stubborn?”. Gee I don’t know maybe because I was there first, maybe because I had no real home to live in, maybe because I had represented my country patriotically while living in another country for seven years, maybe because my dad served twenty years in the armed forces or maybe, just maybe, because I WAS THERE FIRST! Of course I am a girl and I have always been raised to be polite (except when people walk all over me and I stand up for myself and I am suddenly the bad guy – hmm, sounds familiar). Oh, yeah right where I am now.
So, I am on the verge of crying, my dad is doing nothing (nothing new), this guys is being a complete asshole and the cops are trying to cart me off to jail for standing at a Fourth of July parade in Provo, Utah (yes, you will need a map). Never-the-less I showed him. I shouted “Hell No, I Won’t Go!” as the police dragged me off . . . Um, no I just moved my short 5′3″ body down the side walk to a spot where I saw every other crappy float and my day was completely ruined. I do not think I went to see that parade again until we took grandma (Sacramento) in her wheelchair several years later (saw that it was basically the same and I have not been back to view the parade since).
Of course the parade has since been taken over by a “private organization” (America’s Freedom Foundation Inc. insert propaganda video here) as has the whole Freedom Festival which makes sure everything is “Family Friendly” (even though they cannot define this and usually translates in Utah as kiddie oriented with nothing for the adults). I have had two run-ins with organizers of the festival’s Freedom Days vending portion (which has been going down hill steadily for the past several years). In 2006 (selling novelties related to bikers/skaters that teens and adults would enjoy) and 2007 (airbrushing temporary tattoos note: another vendor was allowed to set up shop along with at least four caricature artists) I was turned down as not being “Family Friendly.” In both cases I requested, when notified by email, as to why I was not accepted and was never dignified with a response.
In 2006 when I Bloggedquoting the email I was harassed and threatened over the phone by the 2006 Administrative Director withlegal action. I then threatened the City of Provo (a listed sponsor) with legal action if they did not separate themselves from this organization’s biased behavior (this never went anywhere because Provo City is clueless that they are sponsoring an event that discriminates based on the First Amendment and the ACLU can’t be bothered). I was notified that Provo City was not a sponsor, yet in 2007, 2008 and again in 2009 Provo City was and is still listed as a sponsor of Freedom Days an event that encourages “Free Enterprise” while making note of and policing exactly what you are selling and displaying and saying.
If you do not conform to the Freedom Foundation Inc. you will be terminated (okay, you will not be terminated, but they will shut you down or a least harass you for several minutes a’la 2007 when I was doing free (3 designs none of which the sole airbrushing hippies who’s work was crappy to say the least had – yes I am bitter) airbrushing at my parents patriotic booth on the 4th of July – we were bored and far from the thronging (ha, ha, ha) crowds who did not want to buy a $5 patriotic original design t-shirt). We have not been back since (fascist Mormons).*
Yet, although we miss out on seeing great entertainment like Hannah Montana and the Jonas Brothers (how on earth does this appeal to the entire family - oops I forgot it’s for the kids) and the Stadium of Fire’s fireworks we get to enjoy the ever increasing illegal firework show around our house. Complete with hearing the actual booms from the launches at 12:30 A.M. on July 5th. But, I have yet to read about how many arrests were made each year due to the ever increasing brazenness of my neighbors. I Have heart though, the local police will arrest you for not giving your name when they come to your house (um, don’t they have computers in their little cars for that) to ticket you for not watering your lawn (You bad cash strapped senior citizen you, what were you thinking with all these people putting off illegal fireworks in your neighborhood it might start a fire in your yard!).
So I hope you enjoyed your freedoms on the Fourth. I did, while having a Belgian waffle at Denny’s and flaking out in front of the TV while watching mom’s favorite July 4th movie, The Music Man. I do not think I will be going down to Provo on the Fourth any time soon (even though I’m dying to see how badly they do their version of Colonial Days down there- Utah wasn’t even Utah during the Colonial days and they have absolutely nothing on Colonial Williamsburg – especially the cold apple cider, sugar cookies and tourist watching – been there, done that, more fun!).
* Feel free to delve into more information about America’s Freedom Foundation Inc.which is run and controlled mostly by the members of the Mormon community (some token religions are represented) in Provo and Utah County. They claim they are all about our freedoms as American citizens, but unfortunately they are all about their version of what our freedoms should be. As for their events they claim that the thousands of runners in the pre-parade event attend the parade, but they don’t (they go home just like I did – for a shower), they claim that the thousands who watch the parade visit the vendors, but they don’t (only a couple hundred probably visit the vending due to the concept of walking any kind of distance and where they were parked – plus many of the vendors are the same year after year as noted by myself when having the occasion in previous years to wander through). In recent years they have tried to increase the area of Freedom Days which has the effect of stretching taffy and only works to make vendors mad, while decentralizing the event. In fact in 2007 one local carnival owner was put into a situation where he could not set up any decent rides (roller coaster, ferriswheel, zipper, etc.) and he was so mad at the loss of ticket sales Freedom Days is now left with no decent carnival rides (I believe the words were black listed) for which they had to go out of state.
